Of Wolf and Man
by Airin
Summary: Post GoF. Sirius goes to stay with Remus but there is more going on than meets the eyes. Chap 12: In which Sirius waits for Remus to come to bed.
1. Hermit

These characters are not mine. Not at all. They belong to JKR, that great creator of Harry Potter, without whom you would not even be here!!! I promise I am not making profit from this.  
  
Warning...this story includes two men in a romantic situation WITH EACH OTHER! If you are homophobic, or just do not like that sexual orientation in a fic then do not read it!! If you read it and then flame me then you just look like an idiot for wasting your own time reading something you hate, giving me something to pass around and laugh about. Apart from that...enjoy!!  
  
Dedication: This fic is dedicated to Bally, author of the best RL/SB fic ever (Of Linen), inspiration for me and the best beta reader in the world. Love you hun!  
  
Background: This an AU fic. It is set immediately after Sirius leaves Hogwarts at the end of GoF. At this point Sirius and Remus have NEVER had a relationship apart from being friends.  
  
The title comes from the Metallica song "Of Wolf and Man." If you listen to it it is perfect for Remus and the Marauders.  
  
- Chapter 1 -  
  
Sirius apparated in the forest just outside Kinlochard. A quick glance around reassured him that no one had seen his magical entrance. He pulled out a small piece of paper from his robes and read it over again. This was the right place. It was in this extensive forest that Remus Lupin had set up home after leaving Hogwarts. Dumbledore had given him the address previously, but there had been no opportunity to visit before now. Things had changed though. With Voldemort's rise Sirius could not afford to lay low abroad and after contacting the rest of the "old crowd" he was heading to Remus' to warn him and "lay low".  
  
Remus' house was enchanted, as Hogwarts was, so anyone happening across it would see only an abandoned shack. Sirius knew one way he could find it without magic though. He transformed into his dog form and sniffed into the wind. As Padfoot he knew Remus' scent. It was not detectable so Sirius set off at a brisk trot into the dark green of the forest, knowing that Remus would pick the most secluded spot possible to protect anyone from his lycanthropic tendencies.  
  
As Sirius settled into a comfortable gait he would be able to keep up for hours, his mind thought back to the last time he had seen the other man. It was almost a year ago that Remus had finally found out that Sirius was innocent of the crime he had been imprisoned for, the murder of their two best friends James and Lily. Dumbldore had assumed that Remus would be perfectly happy to accept a hunted man in his home, but Sirius was not as sure. He knew that one of the reasons for not contacting Remus at all during the last year was fear. Fear that they would never again have the friendship they once had, fear Remus could not put twelve years of hatred and suspicion behind them, and fear that feelings he thought long buried would surface to cause problems. In the Shrieking Shack Remus had hugged him like they were again brothers together in the Marauder's. Sirius had been alone for thirteen years, bar Dementors and a few days with Harry. What he wanted most of all was somewhere to settle for a little while and not be scared to take human form. He hoped Remus did not object.  
  
A scent. A strong scent. Wolf. Sirius cocked his head. Remus had been here not long before, only a few days ago. It was two weeks until the next full moon so it had not been as the wolf. Sirius searched around a little. Blackberries, recently picked. He snuffled around and picked up the scent leading away. With renewed vigour Sirius set out.  
  
The house was in front of him. Sirius could see how well kept the garden was, the evidence of fresh paint on the outside. Remus always had been the neater of the four. He sat just beyond the fence around the vegetable patch trying to pluck up the courage to knock. This was why he was here, but so much time on the move, avoiding people, had left his people skills lacking. The sun was lowering in the sky. It was late afternoon, but the summer nights were light and the sun would not set for hours.  
  
The dark blue front door opened. A golden-haired man in grubby dark red robes stepped out, heading directly towards Sirius. Obviously the decision was being taken out of his hands. Sirius stood up, still in his dog form, waiting to be noticed. Remus finally looked up straight at the huge black dog standing watching him. He stopped. A slow grin spread across his face.  
  
"Hi Padfoot. I was wondering how long it would take for you to show up." Remus walked round to the gate and opened it. Sirius transformed and walked up to his oldest friend, mirroring his grin. Remus again caught the slightly broader but gaunter man in a bear hug. Sirius laughed.  
  
"You were expecting me?"  
  
"For a few weeks now. Dumbledore sent an owl." Remus lead him towards the front door and into the house. "I set up the spare room for you. Dumbledore checked that the Ministry were not on my back too much so that you would be safe here." Sirius peered into every room as they passed, curious, but Remus led him straight to a small room with a single bed, chair, wardrobe and bedside table. Remus opened the wardrobe.  
  
"I popped to Diagon Alley and bought you a few robes. Having seen your last one..." Remus smiled as Sirius stared open mouthed.  
  
"You didn't have to Remus, I mean, I know you don't have a lot." Remus just grinned.  
  
"Well... I was well paid at Hogwarts. How do you think I could afford this place? They're not brilliant, but better than this one..."  
  
"Oi! That's two cracks at my robes in one minute Moony, take a look in the mirror before you comment!!" The two men grinned at each other and for a few moments it was like being back at school. Sirius felt his body relax. He was safe.  
  
Remus turned away suddenly. "Well. I was going to cook, and now I have even more reason to so do you want to get a little sleep until it's ready?" Sirius was thankful. He was exhausted. He thanked Remus, waited for the man to leave, and climbed under the soft sheets. He was asleep in minutes. 


	2. Duo

As again the characters are not mine. They are JKR's.  
  
This chapter is also dedicated to SIG, the wonder that is her. :)  
  
- Chapter 2 -  
  
Remus walked back outside to pick the carrots he had been going to collect when Sirius had arrived. Although he had been expecting the other man's arrival it had still come as a shock. The whole situation was bizarre. Here was the man he had spent twelve years hating and a year missing, yet they slipped back into the old banter without a hitch. He had missed Sirius, wanted him to get in contact. He was all that was left of the time in his life when things had been perfect. His best friend. He could tell that Sirius was worried about Remus accepting him again, going into the old friendship, but there was nothing to worry about. Remus smiled. He was just happy to have his best friend back.  
  
Remus sensed Sirius would sleep for hours so he put on a slow baking casserole. Years of depending on just himself had leant him half decent cooking skills, but he was no gourmet chef. With a glance up the stairs Remus settled down with a book in the slanting afternoon sun.  
  
A few hours later a creak of the upstairs floorboards alerted Remus that Sirius was awake. He smiled. The casserole was just ready. Leave it to Sirius to smell food. It was good to have company again, Remus had not realised how lonely he had been feeling until the owl had arrived from Dumbledore, asking him if he minded Sirius staying with him. As if he could ever say no.  
  
Sirius climbed down the stairs just as Remus was dishing out the food. He glanced about himself slightly nervously as any new guest in someone else's house will. Remus carried the plates over to the table, catching Sirius' attention. The silence between them as they sat was companionable, pleasant even. The sun has just disappeared over the horizon and dusk was setting in. The light in the small kitchen was a dusky reddish- blue.  
  
Remus picked up the dishes and carried them to the sink. Sirius stood up too.  
  
"I'll wash." He stated, claiming the spot in front of the sink. Remus objected, more for form than anything else, but Sirius insisted. The dishes were done in record time and the two wizards retired to the living room, Sirius sat down on the sofa, noticing the huge collection of books, sparking a memory of a young Remus telling him how he would one day own the largest library in the UK. Remus curled with his feet beneath him on the armchair. Finally Sirius spoke.  
  
"So I guess Dumbledore filled you in on what happened." Sirius had somehow wanted to avoid this very discussion. He wanted to feel as though he had not come to Remus out of an obligation to Dumbledore but rather out of a heartfelt desire to be with his friend. He wanted Remus to know how much just sitting with him meant, but the danger newly resurrected in the world was too real.  
  
Remus shifted so he was facing Sirius more. "Not really. He mentioned that things had gotten very bad, but explained that you would fill me in." Sirius took a deep breath and told Remus everything that had happened in the last year. Remus knew some, but the details of Harry's ordeal brought a tear to his eye.  
  
"God Sirius, is he OK?" Sirius could see a look on Remus' face that his own must have held on hearing the same story. Sirius bowed his head, again thinking of the look on Harry's face. The fear, the pain, the aged eyes of the fourteen year-old boy. He could not forget it.  
  
Remus' voice cut through the pained silence. "He's so like James." Sirius looked up to see Remus staring at him.  
  
"He is. It's heartbreaking to look at him sometimes. Lily's eyes and the image of James." Sirius looked out of the window at the treetops.  
  
"He's so clever too. He doesn't know his own potential Sirius. I taught him and I was amazed with his grasp of magic far above his years. He's like James that way too." The two men sat in silence for a few minutes before Remus seemed to shake off the gloom and stood up to light the room's candles. He pulled heavy curtains across the windows so no light escaped.  
  
"So tell me. What has Dumbledore arranged? What is everyone else doing?" Sirius told Remus about Dumbledore's instructions to everyone, scowling when he came to the part where he and Snape had shaken hands. Remus laughed.  
  
"I'd have loved to see the look on his face. And yours for that matter!" Remus' grin was infectious and Sirius felt himself grin back.  
  
"I bet you would. He's a slimy git." Remus laughed harder, feeling for all the world like they were back in the common room in Hogwarts. Sirius was more sombre now, his inherent intensity that had once been tempered by a joking, prankish nature, was now fiercer. Well, twelve years in Azkaban will do that. But under it all he was still the same Sirius, foolish, impulsive, but funny and the ever the loyal friend.  
  
They talked through into the night. Sirius spun tales of his travels, avoiding detection, but still keeping an eye on Harry. Remus knew half of the mad duels, daring escapes and passionate romances were made up, but Sirius knew he knew and it was a joke between them for Remus to pick the truth. Remus told of the things he had done since leaving Hogwarts, but neither of them spoke about how Remus had filled the twelve years Sirius had been in Azkaban. Remus could tell that Sirius wanted to ask, but he held back. That was for another time.  
  
In the early hours the two men, one with hair and eyes as black as his name, and the other with greying golden hair and amber eyes, climbed the stairs up and parted into two rooms to sleep. Remus could hear Sirius rustling around in the next room as he stripped down to a pair of plain black boxer shorts and climbed into bed. It was comforting to have someone else in the house and, being honest with himself, even more comforting that the someone was Sirius. He closed his eyes and slipped into a deep sleep.  
  
Remus snapped awake. He had been dreaming that someone was calling his name, but on waking he could hear Sirius was in fact shouting, his name amongst others. He scrambled from the sheets and ran through to the small spare room.  
  
"Sirius?" He asked, wondering what could be wrong. He paused. Sirius was asleep. He was trashing about, the sheets wrapped round his gaunt frame, skin painfully white in his white shorts.  
  
"Remus, Remus you have to stop him... Peter... It's Peter................ Oh God Remus Peter............... Harry. Protect Harry." Then Sirius moaned. The sound chilled Remus to the bone. It was a primal sound of sheer anguish. Remus could take not more and sat on the bed to shake Sirius, waking him up.. The sweat slicked man jerked awake, eyes wide. His stare fixed on Remus and he moaned again.  
  
"Remus, you have to get to Godrics Hollow. It's Peter, Peter's the spy, he's going to kill Harry. Remus... James and Lily. You have to go, go." Remus shook Sirius slightly again. Sirius' hands were on Remus' shoulders and he could feel how clammy they were. He looked straight into the mad eyes.  
  
"No Sirius. It's too late remember?" He spoke softly, using all his teaching experience to exude a calm. "James and Lily are dead. Harry's alive. That was twelve years ago." Sirius' eyes stopped flashing as Remus' words sank in. His face crumbled. Remus could tell that Sirius was trying not to cry in front of him so he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, giving Sirius all the comfort he could muster and allowing him to cry without embarrassment. Sirius sat with his head on Remus' shoulders for what seemed like an age before sitting back up.  
  
"It was me Remus. I did it. I killed them." Sirius' jaw was clenched, the self-loathing clear on his face. "If it wasn't for me Harry would still have his parents, probably brothers and sisters too." Remus shook his head.  
  
"No Sirius. You know that isn't true. If you had ever suspected Peter you would not have suggested him as the Secret Keeper. No one suspected him. I didn't, you didn't, James didn't. Not even Dumbledore. It is not your fault, it never was." Remus could see that he was getting through to Sirius. He lay him down on the bed and lay next to him, his front to Sirius' back. "Come on, you can't keep blaming yourself. Go to sleep. I'll be here." Sirius reached over and pulled Remus' arms round him. Remus was slightly shocked but relaxed as Sirius wrapped his own arms over the top. Slowly they both slipped asleep again.  
  
The next two weeks passed quickly. The two men settled into a routine with each other, one washing, one drying, sharing the cooking and household jobs. Remus showed Sirius how he grew vegetables, explaining that he bought everything else from Kinlochard. Sirius had no nightmares a severe as the one on the first night, but a couple of times Remus was woken by the deep frightened voice and the two men would go back to sleep in Remus' bed, it being a double.  
  
The night of the full moon approached and Remus could feel the wolf rising within him. Having Sirius with him again was a reminder of the wandering they used to do back in school. Sirius was obviously reminded of the same thing. The day before the moon rose full he sat next to Remus as the lighter man read.  
  
"What do you do on the full moon." Remus laid down his book and looked up at Sirius. He looked slightly nervous.  
  
"Well, I have the basement. I lock myself in. Plus even if got out and ran all night it's too far to the village." Sirius nodded as though he knew this. He cleared his throat a slightly. Remus waited.  
  
"I was wondering... um... well I'll be about and as you said, even if you run all night you'll never reach the village so... do you want to go out instead?" Remus could tell Sirius had been very nervous about asking. It was strange. Sirius never usually was nervous about anything. Remus had to keep reminding himself that "usually" did not really apply any more. Thinking back to the question he was unsure. Should they risk going out? Sirius could control him in most situations and it was too far to the village. It would be fantastic to run again. To run with the pack, even if the pack was just the two of them now. Remus could feel his wolf self pushing for this, wanting to be released, to be set free. He read books more closer to the full moon because otherwise he was prone to snapping, growling and getting riled up over nothing. This would give him a huge realise and also do Sirius good. It was that thought that finally decided him.  
  
"I think we should." He said simply. Sirius broke into a huge grin. He stood up and went back out into the kitchen where he had been studying "Counter curses" on the table. Remus grinned too as he left. Having Sirius here was great. He found it hard to remember what it had been like when he was by himself, the only contact when he went to buy more food and supplies. Remus stretched out and delved back into his book. Tomorrow the Marauder's pack would run again. 


	3. Of wolves and dog

The characters are still not mine. They are JKR's. I'm not making money off them.  
  
As ever dedicated to my muse and inspiration Bally, see you in Vermont hun!! Also dedicated to my lovely SIG, confidante and crony!!  
  
The following are the lyrics from which the title was taken. Read them!! they are very appropriate, for this chapter especially!!  
  
Off through the new day's mist I run  
  
Off from the new day's mist I have come  
  
I hunt  
  
Therefore I am  
  
Harvest the land  
  
Taking of the fallen lamb  
  
Off through the new day's mist I run  
  
Off from the new day's mist I have come  
  
We shift  
  
Pulsing with the earth  
  
Company we keep  
  
Roaming the land while you sleep  
  
Shape shift, nose to the wind  
  
Shape shift, feeling I've been  
  
Move swift, all senses clean  
  
Earth's gift, back to the meaning of life  
  
Bright is the moon high in starlight  
  
Chill in the air cold as steel tonight  
  
We shift  
  
Call of the wild  
  
Fear in your eyes  
  
It's later than you realised  
  
Shape shift, nose to the wind  
  
Shape shift, feeling I've been  
  
Move swift, all senses clean  
  
Earth's gift, back to the meaning of life  
  
I feel a change  
  
Back to a better day  
  
Hair stands on the back of my neck  
  
In wildness is the preservation of the world  
  
So seek the wolf in thyself  
  
Shape shift, nose to the wind  
  
Shape shift, feeling I've been  
  
Move swift, all senses clean  
  
Earth's gift,  
  
Back to the meaning of wolf and man  
  
- Chapter 3 -  
  
Remus pulled off his robes so he was only wearing only his boxers. Unlike an animagi transformation his clothing did not transform with him and he liked to ruin as little as possible. If Sirius had not been there he would have been naked not to mention in the basement. But tonight there were no locks to keep him in, no bars and furniture to take out wolf frustration on. Tonight the wolf ran with the pack. Remus could feel it, so close to the surface now, anxious to be out in the wild.  
  
Sirius stripped down to his boxers too, but Remus knew it was just so he would not feel exposed. It was the same thing Sirius and the rest of the Marauders used to do for him. Again the feeling of being back at school surfaced. Those had been the best days of his life and Remus was happy to feel that way again.  
  
The two men stood next to one another. Sirius could change any time he wanted, but he waited for Remus to begin. Remus was glad of it. It was painful to change and the waiting was made less stressful by having someone to talk with. They were both standing outside the fence surrounding the house. Sirius was leaning against the fence, looking for all the world like the confident boy at school. They grinned at each other in anticipation.  
  
Suddenly the change was upon him. Remus' head snapped back and he screamed involuntarily. His face elongated, fur sprouting all over his body. Somewhere beneath the immediate pain he sensed Sirius transforming to the huge black dog. When the change was complete the two circled and sniffed each other. The wolf was in the lead.  
  
Stranger. Dog. New. Old. Friend? Enemy? Memory. Free. Pack. Pack. Pack. Pack.  
  
The wolf remembered. This dog was his pack, the only member left. He took off towards the trees, black dog close on his heels. The wolf knew where the village was, where the fresh meat was. He made for it. The night began.  
  
Later the wolf stopped, nose to the wind. The dog halted, following the gesture to sense what the wolf had. Wolf. There was another wolf. A she- wolf. The wolf raised his head to the sky and howled to the full moon. Far off the howl was answered. The dog nudged at the wolf, urging him in the opposite direction, but instinct took over. The black dog was forced to follow the bounding off through the trees, off towards the answering howl. The pace was gruelling.  
  
There she was. The she-wolf bounded into view. Hackles raised. The two wolves began to circle each other, each sizing the other, but knowing that they must mate, being the only wolves of their breed available. The wolf knew the dog was still there, but the instinct in his blood was telling him to mate. The she-wolf moved in, sniffing at the wolf's face. Immediately the dog jumped in. His back was arched and he was growling at the she-wolf. The wolf growled at his pack mate. It was a reassuring note, intended to show the dog that the she-wolf was no threat, but the dog raised up more. The she-wolf backed off, confused. The wolf could sense the she-wolf's thoughts. Was this a new contender to mate? Was it a challenge? The She-wolf sniffed at the black dog too. If this was another contender for her then she would allow them to fight for her. It was clear that the prospect excited her.  
  
The black dog growled even more deeply at her. The wolf was puzzled. The dog did not want the she-wolf, that much was clear. The she-wolf sat back on her haunches, clearly unable to see why this black dog resented her so. She again moved towards the wolf, muzzle extended. This time the dog snapped at her. He barked and placed himself in her path, between the she- wolf and the wolf. This time she backed way off. The gesture was clear. 'Mine.' The wolf also sat back. Though its instincts told it to mate, as must the she-wolf's be, the signal was clear. The Dog was claiming him as his own and was willing to fight the she-wolf away. The she-wolf whimpered slightly, still obviously confused, but backed away. She turned and ran into the trees.  
  
The black dog turned and cocked its head at the wolf. Though seconds before it had been ready to fight, the moment it turned it was fully aware that the wolf was the Alpha. The dog lay itself in front of the wolf and raised its muzzle to lick the wolf's face. The wolf licked back. The wolf did not know what exactly had happened, but the she-wolf was gone and he was quite happy to head back towards the hidden house. The wolf and the black dog bounded away.  
  
Remus awoke. He was lying naked on the dirt just outside the fence surrounding his house. For a moment he was confused. Why was he outside? Why was he not in the basement? He stretched, muscles rippling beneath his skin. A leg touched against something. Sirius. Sirius was still wearing his boxers, but else lying in the dirt like Remus. His back was to Remus' front, curled up like his canine self. Suddenly the night's events came back to him. He remembered the she-wolf. Another werewolf. He remembered the almost overwhelming desire to mate. And above all he remembered Sirius' actions. 'Mine'. That was what the gesture meant. Not a pack claim, nor a friendship, but a claim that this is my mate and you will not touch. Remus' eyes rested on the smooth back on front of him, body reacting involuntarily to the stake.  
  
What did this mean? Sirius was dog-like when transformed, but he usually retained a lot of his human thoughts and feelings when in dog form. It had not been instinct driving him last night. Pack instinct would have been to allow the Alpha to mate, waiting some distance away. No. This was not instinct. Remus' tried to deny the inevitable thought. Sirius wanted him. Sirius saw him as his. Could it just be a side effect of the full moon? Was it just a bizarre reaction? Try as he might Remus could see no other reason for Sirius' actions the night before.  
  
Remus listened. Sirius' breathing was still regular; he was still asleep. He let his eyes roam over his friend's bare flesh. Did Sirius like him? He had never had the notion that Sirius was gay. Was he? Again as his eyes touched all over Sirius Remus felt arousal. What was this!? Did he want Sirius? It could not be that way! Regardless of whether Sirius was gay, he was not!!  
  
A voice spoke in Remus' mind. What about school? He pushed it away but it returned with memories to back it up. At school. Remus having a crush, an attraction to the dark and mischievous Sirius Black. Him telling himself that it was just a desire to be more like him, not to be with him. Knowing that he was not gay because he was attracted to women, but fantasising about Sirius when he lay in bed at night. Remus shook his head. It was absurd to be thinking these things.  
  
Sirius stirred. Remus' eyes dipped involuntarily to his body, muscles moving beneath the smooth skin. Again he could not deny his arousal as Sirius leaned back and their skin touched. This could not be right. Sirius was his friend. Wasn't he?  
  
Sirius stretched more and pressed more firmly into Remus' chest. Without thinking he wrapped his arm around the darker, slightly broader chest, caressing the skin. His breath halted. Oh God. What had he done? They slept like this, but only when Sirius had had nightmares. How would he react now? Remus tried not to think of how the feel of the velvet skin felt beneath his fingers.  
  
Sirius touched his hand. Was he going to throw off his embrace? Stand up? Shout? No. Sirius ran his hands over Remus' arms. They were now pressed firmly together. Remus' head was spinning. This was all so new, but precisely what he wanted right now. It Ws like a dream. Sirius turned in his arms to face him more. Their faces were millimetres apart, lips almost touching. Remus' hands swept down over the soft skin of Sirius' back. He closed his eyes, trying to force the embarrassment away. As his eyes closed he felt a brush upon his lips. His lips parted slightly, his breath coming more harshly. The touch on his lips intensified. Sirius was kissing him. He kissed back. 


	4. Admissions

*sighs* OK. You get the idea. Not Mine. *points at JKR* hers. Oh. Plus...the character Angel DeMaria belongs to Bally (Ballyharnon, most exquisite fiancé) and he is used with her permission. In fact, he is used at her insistence!!! Heh heh heh. If you want to know the relevance of Angel DeMaria then you should read "Of Linen" by Ballyharnon. A great SB/RL fic!  
  
Extra warning...if you've read this far I am assuming that you don't object to homosexuality... so a little slash sex won't scare you away right? But If it does, stop now. :D  
  
- Chapter 4 -  
  
Sirius woke up on the dirt. He could feel Remus behind him and by the sound of his breathing he was awake. What did he think of what had happened the night before? Did he even remember it? Did he realise the significance? Sirius trying to push it out of his mind. If Remus had jumped to the right conclusion there was really nothing he could do about it. He would just have to explain. But how could he explain that he had suspected he was in love with Remus at school, and had been surprised to find those feelings just as strong now? That although the occasional nightmares were bad, having Remus curl around his as he went back to sleep was amazing?  
  
Sirius pushed the thoughts away again. He stretched out muscles slightly aching from the nights activities, his back pushing more firmly into Remus' chest. He heard Remus' sudden intake of breath. Oh God, was Remus angry? He paused, waiting for the other man's reaction. The last thing he expected was to feel the warm, strong hands and arms wrap around him. Sirius' heartbeat leapt as Remus' hands ran over his chest. What was he doing? Did he realise the effect he was having on him? Sirius could hear that Remus was not breathing. Was he the one who was afraid? Sirius reached up and ran his hands along the beautiful shape of Remus' hands, noticing the dirt from having slept on the floor. His own hands were less than clean.  
  
Remus' body was now pressed tightly against Sirius' back. Sirius could feel how aroused the man was and it made him dizzy with lust. Breath coming raggedly he turned in Remus' arms so they were facing, lips a hairs breadth away. Remus' hands caressed his back and his eyes closed. Sirius, body taking over, leaned in and kissed him, so gently the other man could stop at any time. He felt Remus' lips open slightly, not moving away. Bolder Sirius increased the pressure, kissing him properly. Remus' response was immediate. They lay in the dirt kissing, hands on each others skin, touching in a completely new way.  
  
Sirius was very aware that Remus was naked and that he wore only a pair of thin boxers. Their hips were close together, bodies moving against one another. Sirius pushed against Remus and was gratified to hear the other man's sharp intake of breath. The kiss intensified. Sirius' mind wanted to think about the ramifications of this. Why was Remus doing this? Was this what he wanted? But the lust inside him obscured all thoughts bar the touch the this beautiful man against him.  
  
Remus' hands moved down and slid beneath the waistband of Sirius' boxers. Sirius gasped and pulled back from the kiss, lips still almost touching, foreheads pressed together.  
  
"Oh God Remus." Sirius' voice was deep and husky with lust. He wanted nothing more than to have Remus hands on him, but his feeling for this man were too strong to play with. "Do you want this? Is this what you want?" Sirius looked deep into the amber eyes inches from his own.  
  
"Of course I do. Do you?" Sirius pulled Remus in to kiss him again.  
  
"Isn't it obvious that I want nothing else?" Remus grinned and Sirius could not stop himself from kissing the soft lips.  
  
Neither of them spoke again for hours except to moan each others names at the height of climax.  
  
Sirius awoke again. The afternoon sun was beating down on his bare skin, his meagre boxers having been long abandoned. He and Remus were lying face to face, noses almost touching, in the exact positions they had fallen asleep. Sirius thought his heart would break at the sight of this man, hair blazon in the sunlight. He was perfect. He wanted Remus to wake up, to kiss him again and again, but watching the steady rise and fall as he breathed, the way the lines on his face smoothed out, was intoxicating. Suddenly Remus spoke. Sirius had thought he was still asleep.  
  
"So are you going to stare at me all day, or are you going to kiss me?" Sirius grinned. He leaned down and kissed Remus softly, teasingly. Remus reached round to the back of his head and pulled him in to a proper kiss. Then they both lay back.  
  
"You know what?" Sirius asked, watching Remus' eyebrows raise in the unspoken 'no, what?' gesture that he always used. "This ground is fucking hard." Remus burst out laughing. He agreed and stood up, pulling Sirius to his feet. They kissed again, neither one seeming able to not touch for longer than a few seconds.  
  
"So how about we go somewhere more comfortable? Say... my bed?" Sirius expressed vehement agreement. As The two men walked naked, still touching, through the garden and into the house Sirius could not believe how amazing this was. Remus seemed to want him, he wanted Remus. At some point they would have to talk about all this, but as they reached Remus' bedroom it was clear that that point was not now.  
  
This time neither man fell asleep, but rather dozed, enjoying the way the sunlight slanted across the bed. Remus was drawing lazy circles in the black hair on Sirius' stomach. Sirius stirred and turned to face him, head propped up on his hand, elbow resting on the pillow. He saw Remus watching him, eyes half lidded, waiting for him to speak. They both seemed to sense that this was not just more bed talk, but a serious discussion.  
  
"Well. I don't know where to start." Sirius laughed slightly. What should he say? 'Hi Remus, why'd you fuck me?', though what he wanted to know, did not seem appropriate. Remus' eyes were more alert now.  
  
"Then why don't I?" Remus asked, stretching out. "The question is, why did this happen? You want to know why I did it, and I want to know why you did." Sirius was slightly taken back. Remus was not usually one to speak so blunt. In the past it had always been Remus beating around the bush and Sirius speaking so plain that the other Marauders would laugh. But it was the day after the full moon. Remus had only transformed back less than twelve hours before and with the wolf so close to the surface this behaviour could be explained. Sirius smiled lopsidedly.  
  
"Yes. I think that covers it all." Both men looked at each other. Who was going to start? This was more awkward than it should be considering how well they now knew each other's bodies. Remus spoke first.  
  
"So why did you Sirius? With the she-wolf?" Sirius had not been expecting that to be the first question. This was more like Remus, asking leading questions to elicit all the required information. Sirius took a deep breath.  
  
"Because I didn't want anyone else to have you." He closed his eyes so he would not have to see Remus' reaction. He spoke again. "Werewolves mate for life right?" He heard Remus' shocked intake of breath.  
  
"How do you know that?"  
  
Sirius opened his eyes again. "I read about it. I wanted to find out all I could about Werewolves at school and I read it in some obscure text" Sirius waved his hand vaguely.  
  
Remus smiled. "I didn't know you cared that much."  
  
Sirius gazed back. "I did." Remus looked pleased and a slight flush came to his face. He dipped his head slightly before speaking again.  
  
"Well they do mate for life, but it's not quite that simple." Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Well, with other wolves one mating seals it, and that person is your mate, and you're their mate, no holds barred. But with normal people it takes more to seal it. I've had sex before, it's not that that makes it binding." Sirius was mildly disappointed, but understood. "When wolves mate they have to each make the other submit to it. Both are Alpha, and both are beta. It happens automatically. An acceptance of mating. But with normal people it has to be done consciously. The wolf has to chose the mate."  
  
Sirius thought. "So what you are saying is, that if you had mated with that she-wolf last night you would have sealed yourself to her for life?" He was shocked. Had he really been that close to losing this man? Remus nodded.  
  
"So really you saved me from that. But you didn't know that." Remus pulled Sirius down and kissed him. "Thank you." Sirius ran his hand across Remus' chest hair.  
  
"Well. Now you know." Sirius wondered if Remus could hear the note in his voice. These were feeling he had bottled up since the third year of Hogwarts that he had just revealed. His heart lay open.  
  
"I can't believe you liked me back then Pad." Remus used their nickname and the gesture relaxed Sirius slightly. "I... well... I guess I kind of liked you too." Remus laughed nervously. "If only we'd known." Sirius grinned. He had not felt this happy for over 13 years. It was wonderful.  
  
"I'm not so sure Moony. Do you really think either of us would have been ready at 16 or 17 to start a gay relationship? I'm not gay, and I'm fairly certain you are not gay, but coming to terms with feelings like this that young? It might have just caused problems." Remus looked amused. Sirius knew he was thinking that it was usually him that reasoned things. They both kissed again. The Remus spoke again.  
  
"No. I'm not gay." He stopped, looking embarrassed. "Um. In fact, that was... well... I've never. Not with a man."  
  
Sirius arched an eyebrow. "Never?" Remus shook his head. Sirius grinned. "Well I thought it was pretty damn good for a first time!!" The two men laughed.  
  
"So... how about you?" Remus asked. Sirius blushed hugely. Remus laughed at him. "What!?"  
  
"Well... no. Once before." Remus laughed at how uncomfortable Sirius looked. "At school."  
  
Remus looked surprised. "Who with?"  
  
Sirius blushed more that seemed possible. "Do you remember that Ravenclaw who adored you and followed you around? In the year below?" Remus nodded. A look of comprehension dawned on his face.  
  
"Oh! The blonde one... Angel something? You slept with him!?"  
  
Sirius nodded. "Angel DeMaria. He adored you, and so did I. One night I went to the Three Broomsticks to drink away some of my brain cells in your name and met him there doing the same." Sirius looked away. "Well... then at closing time we drunkenly walked home through the forest and... um... took out our urgings for you on each other." Sirius knew his face must be scarlet and he could not bring himself to look at Remus. He felt Remus' hands touch against his cheek and pull him in to kiss again.  
  
"That's really quiet sweet Sirius." He laughed. "Disturbing, but sweet." Sirius pushed him and they laughed. Everything was wonderful. The sun was shining on them, bodies wrapped together. There was nothing wrong in the world at that moment. Sirius turned and kissed Remus again. He kept their faces close, noses touching.  
  
"Moony. I..." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I think I love you." Remus kissed him, holding him tight.  
  
"I think I love you too Pads." The two men kissed again, lust rising, both happy.  
  
The afternoon sun waned and still the two men did not leave the bed. Only interested in each other, it was not until the next morning that either wondered what another werewolf had been doing running in the forest the night before. 


	5. Doubts

*sigh* OK! I think you get the idea! They are not mine! And if you have read this far I am assuming you like slash fics so just to say this is more of that.  
  
And to the people who have reviewed... love you all!! *loves reviews*  
  
- Chapter 5 -  
  
Remus stirred. Sirius was lying behind him, arms about his stomach. He could feel the steady rise and fall of his chest as the taller man slept. Remus could not believe how amazingly the previous day had turned out. He turned so he could watch Sirius sleeping but caught sight of the sheets as he did so. Wow. They really should have had a shower before getting into the bed. The previously white sheets were streaked with black dirt. Remus grinned. Well, he would just have to wash them after he had dragged Sirius into the shower. Though with the obvious feel of Sirius' body's early morning response he would not take much dragging...  
  
Remus pressed his lower back against his lover and moved slightly. Sirius' moan brought about Remus' own body's reaction. He moved more urgently. Suddenly Sirius' arms tightened around him, stopping the movement.  
  
"You'd better mean to follow through what you start Moony." The voice came gruff with sleep and lust, but the teasing note clear. Remus grinned more. Then he rolled away.  
  
"In the shower." He laughed at Sirius' look of abandonment before the dark man stood up and lead him through to the bathroom.  
  
Remus towelled himself off, surreptitiously watching Sirius pull on a white muggle T-shirt. He admired the way the muscles moved under the now clean skin. Was there a time when he had ever felt such desire for another? He could not remember even feeling this strongly. A sudden thought occurred to him.  
  
"Sirius? Why are you putting muggle clothes on?" Remus was still standing naked, but Sirius had jeans and the T-shirt on.  
  
Sirius looked up. "Well, we're going to be going into Kinlochard right?" Remus frowned. Why would they be going into the town? Remus watched Sirius grin at him.  
  
"Werewolf? Not you? Running about the forest?" Sirius pointed out the window. Remus clicked. The she-wolf!! He had completely forgotten. Sirius laughed at him as he pulled out muggle clothing to put on too. He kept a good supply for emergencies. Remus ran through the implications in his mind. A she-wolf, obviously from Kinlochard. She could have caused some major damage, even if this was just her first night. Then there was the wolf that had changed her... Remus shook his head. A mess.  
  
"I'm going to send an owl to Dumbledore. I'll tell him we're going to find out who the wolf is, where she came from. Do you know what this means Sirius?" Sirius nodded. He looked grave.  
  
"Trouble."  
  
Remus followed Sirius down the stairs. They had decided that Sirius would send the note, not wanting to admit that Remus had roamed free during the full moon. Remus set about making some breakfast. He could see Sirius out through the window with his owl Shay waiting for the letter next to him. He had to admit that he looked good in muggle clothing. The way the jeans hung from his hips, the way the top suited his broad shoulders. Remus shook his head and pulled some bacon out of the fridge. He had not really eaten the day before, though the wolf in him usually demanded meat the day after the full moon. Time to make up for it.  
  
Remus thought back to the day about two weeks ago when Sirius had arrived. Had he known even then that he would end up sharing a bed with him? Sleeping with him? Telling him he loved him? Remus sat down as the bacon and sausages cooked. Did he love Sirius? Well of course he did, Sirius was his closest friend. He snorted. His best friend was a man he had seen for 3 weeks in the last 13 years. He smiled slightly. Was that why he had been able to put aside 12 years of hatred so easily? And why it had been so easy to accept Sirius into his bed? An uncomfortable thought surfaced in his mind. Was it guilt? Did he feel guilty enough about not 'knowing' that Sirius was innocent that he was overcompensating? Remus again looked out of the window at the dark-haired man, leaning over some parchment with a quill. A thrill went through his body and the arch of his back, the line of his chest and shoulders. No. There was definitely attraction.  
  
'But do I love him?' Remus thought again. He loved Sirius, but was he 'in' love with him? Remus rubbed his hands over his face. If he was in love it would mean accepting Sirius as his mate. Together forever. It would mean telling the world that he was in love with a man. A man! Remus could still not make his head comprehend that although he adored women, the one consistent attraction he had carried since school was for this man. And was that why he was doing this now? Was it just to try and reclaim that happiness he had felt at Hogwarts?  
  
Remus got up and turned the bacon, pulling out some gammon to throw in too. He paused to think, then fetched the eggs too. He needed a good amount of food and it would not do Sirius any harm either. Remus felt guilty for thinking these thoughts. He should be grinning happily, whistling little tunes and looking giddy. That was how people in love acted! But he could not. No. Since he was bitten Remus could not afford to be like others, and was not like them. He had been shunned and hated his whole life, was he ready to give those people more ammunition?  
  
Sirius walked back in through the door interrupting further thoughts. He had a half-smile playing on his lips. Remus cocked an eyebrow.  
  
"Your owl." Sirius said, as if in explanation. Sirius chuckled. "She likes to clean my hair. It was amusing." Sirius shrugged. He walked around the table and put his arm on Remus' waist, leaning in to kiss him. Remus turned slightly, as if to check the food, so the kiss hit his cheek instead. He could see Sirius' look of puzzlement and smiled to try and put him at ease. If was having second thoughts did he really want to let things go any further than they had? It was not fair to do that to Sirius.  
  
Sirius sat down, leaning on the table, looking at Remus. Then he sat back.  
  
"OK Moony. What's wrong." Remus knew he must look slightly shaken. Even if Sirius had noticed something was wrong, in his present state Remus had not thought he would ask so soon. "Come on. I know you. I know that look. You're worrying."  
  
Remus set about serving the breakfast, keeping his back to the other man. "It's nothing Sirius. I'm just worried about this other wolf." Could Sirius still read him like he used to? Close to the full moon the two men had always shared an almost preternatural sense with each other. They had chalked it down to Sirius' shared canine tendencies. Would it still be the same?  
  
"Bullshit." Obviously it would. Remus turned to look at Sirius who looked angry. "Don't lie to me Remus. You're having second thoughts." Remus sighed. He picked up the two plates and set them down on the table, one in front of Sirius and the other where he sat down.  
  
"Maybe I am."  
  
Sirius watched him as he ate a small slice of bacon. " Why?" Well that was the appropriate question. Why. Remus felt himself growing angry, though he knew he was just being defensive.  
  
"Because I'm allowed to Sirius OK? Not everything is black and white." Remus ate some more of his breakfast savagely. He was definitely angry now.  
  
Sirius put down his fork. "No. Moony, but some things 'are' black and white. Either you want this, or you don't. It really is as simple as that. I've told you exactly how I feel."  
  
Remus stopped eating as well. "Yes you have. But this is easier for you. You've had a long time to come to terms with your feelings. I hadn't even let myself realise I had any feelings for you until just over 24 hours ago!!"  
  
"I get it Moony. It's quick. But that just means that we take it slowly, one step at a time. We don't back out completely." Sirius' tone held a pleading note along with the anger. Remus wanted to kiss him and tell him that everything would be all right, but he did not know that it would.  
  
"It's not just that. There are other things." Remus stopped but Sirius just waited for him to elucidate. "You are a man."  
  
Sirius sat back. "Oh. Right. So that is what this is really about. Your homophobic side is rearing its head."  
  
"No! That's not true! I have no problems with you being a man, it's just... other people will." Remus felt some of the anger drain away. Now that he had said the words out loud they seemed so petty and inconsequential.  
  
"What!? Who cares what other people think!" Sirius looked incredulous. Remus' indignation grew again.  
  
"I do! I've been hated and outcast all my life Sirius. What people think of me is the bane of my life OK?" He paused briefly. "And you can't say you don't care... you hate that people think you murdered anyone!"  
  
Sirius stood up, waving his fork in the air. "That's because I didn't!!" He almost yelled, exasperated. "There is a difference between wanting people to know that you are not a mass murderer and caring what they think about you falling in love, even if the other person is a man!" Sirius stopped and looked up at his hand, fork held high in the air. A grin broke across his face. Remus had to admit that he looked ridiculous, like a culinary Shakespearean. The thought made Remus snort. Suddenly the two of them were howling in laughter, the tension melting away. When they stopped Sirius came and crouched in front of where Remus was sitting. He looked up at him, pleading in his eyes.  
  
"Please Moony. You are my best friend. You are the most wonderful person I know and I am hugely attracted to you. I know you are attracted to me too, so where's the wrong in any of that?" Remus stayed quiet, listening. "If people already hate you for being a werewolf, who cares if they hate you a little more for being in love with the 'wrong' gender?" Remus grinned at Sirius' attempt at humour. He could just imagine someone like Lucius Malfoy, indignant enough already about his lycanthropy, bursting something when being told that he was sleeping with Sirius Black. Remus laughed slightly. He leaned forward and kissed Sirius, feeling the man's answering grin.  
  
"But we take it slowly OK?" Sirius nodded happy agreement and sat back at the table to finish eating.  
  
"Of course." He grinned, so much the confident school boy. "So do you want to know what I put in the letter?" Remus nodded. Sirius read it out. "'Dear Professor Dumbledore, On the night of the full moon two nights ago I encountered another werewolf, a she-wolf. As I was able to transform I was not harmed, but speaking with Remus the next day we have both decided it is necessary to find out who she is, why she was roaming free, and who she was bitten by. We will correspond with you so you can inform the registry to visit if they are not already licensed, but I thing you will agree that our contacting them directly would put me in danger of being caught. We will, of course, maintain the utmost of secrecy. Yours Sincerely, Sirius.'" Sirius looked up and grinned.  
  
"Wow. Very well written. Not at all like you..." Remus teased.  
  
Sirius grinned. "I wanted him to think you've been a good influence on me." Remus whistled and Shay flew in through the window. He fastened the letter to her and told her to deliver it to Dumbledore alone. She hooted and flew off. The two men finished their breakfast and washed up. Remus checked all of the windows were closed and that he had enough muggle money. They might not be back for a few days.  
  
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A/N Is that a review box I doth see below?! Why yes! it is! ;) I won't be updating every day because I have my final year project due in in less than a week so I really should work on that instead...but keep checking!! We're still only at the beginning!! Enjoy! 


	6. Searching

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Disclaimer:- Again the characters are not mine. Not mine, and never will be. They belong to JKR.

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Dedication:- This chapter is dedicated to SIG for staying up all night with me to proof read my project. That was a wonderful thing to do sweetie...thankyou!!!

- Chapter 6 -

Sirius waited while Remus locked the door. He was still slightly edgy after the argument he and Remus had just finished. He should have realised that Remus might have a problem with what people thought of him, he was always the quieter one at school, the one who held back and became more easily embarrassed. Sirius had never really cared what others thought and 12 years in Azkaban had made him worry even less. After having the World think of him as a mass murderer, their opinion of his choice of lover seemed insignificant. People were hardly going to say "Oh! That Sirius Black, we know he's evil and a killer, but you know what the worst thing is? He sleeps with a man!" The people whose opinions did matter to him were either dead, or open-minded enough to accept things as they were. Sirius knew it was different far Remus though. He had spent the whole of his life worrying what people thought and having his life run by those people. He was just glad he had spoken to Remus before the other man had stressed himself to the point of giving up on this chance of happiness for them both.

Remus turned and smiled at Sirius. His golden hair was tied at his neck with a leather thong and Sirius thought he looked beautiful. There was no way he was going to let Remus deny this just because of a few needless worries. He kissed him.

"So. Am I the intrepid investigator's faithful dog?" Sirius joked, knowing he would have to remain in dog form a lot of the time. Though his likeness had not been circulated in over a year in the muggle world, and in that time he had put on weight and cleaned up, he still might be recognised. Remus grinned at him.

"Something like that." He said as they walked down the path and out through the gate. The two of them were going to apparate just outside Kinlochard before heading into the town. "I'll have to rely on your sense of smell too." Remus continued.

"Really? I though it was at its peak just after the full moon. Plus with it being another wolf I though you would have no problem."

"I shouldn't, but I'll rely on you for confirmation. And we'd better set up a way that I know what you are saying in dog form." Sirius nodded. The two men decided that nodding and head shaking were fine for yes and no, just to be done subtly. Growling was to say that Sirius was uneasy, and a bark meant definite danger. Two barks was to leave as soon as possible and three barks was the key to get out of there now and to meet back at the apparating point just outside Kinlochard, no matter where it was they were. With that they apparated.

The trees were thinner here and Sirius could hear the far off sounds of children playing. He grinned at Remus before transforming into a dog. Remus patted him playfully between the ears. Sirius began to snuffle around, trying to pick up a hint of the she-wolf. The scent should be reasonably strong after only one day as, Sirius knew from experience, werewolf scent was strong. Enticing, but strong. Could Remus' own essence be blocking out the smell? Sirius was just about to transform again to tell Remus he would search slightly away from him when he picked it up. In his dog form it was like a huge stamp. Wolf. Sirius looked up at Remus and by the cock of his head he knew Remus had picked it up too. They looked at each other and followed the trail through the trees.

As they got closer to a house in the distance Sirius could smell Remus becoming more and more nervous. He had been living as a hermit for almost a year. It was no wonder he was uncomfortable about suddenly meeting people, muggles especially.

The house up ahead seemed to be where the wolf scent was leading. Sirius hoped it was not because it had attacked anyone there. The house was large and detached. It was clearly old by the stone brickwork, but kept well. There was a high wooden fence around the back garden. The two men skirted around it and came to a path leading to an old oak front door. The whole area burned with the wolf smell and Sirius looked up at Remus again. He nodded. Remus sighed and walked up to knock the heavy cast-iron knocker.

Sirius had no idea what he had been expecting, but the plain and normal looking man who answered the door was not it. The man had short dark hair and a ghost of dark stubble across his chin. He was young, probably in his late twenties or early thirties and was wearing a white apron just round his waist, half hiding blue jeans and dark blue T-shirt. He was looking at Remus with a frown.

"Can I help you?" Sirius could smell fear. It was heavy on this man. He was terrified about something but trying to hide it. From his body language he was not used to visitors, never mind strangers. Sirius mentally kicked himself for not figuring out a reason for dropping in, washing machine salesman or something, and hoped Remus would be quick to think of something.

Remus spoke. "Hello. We're here to see your wife." The man blinked. The smell of fear intensified. He was afraid for her.

"She's, um....we?" Sirius was confused for a second before realising that Remus had said "we". He closed his eyes.

"Me and ......er... my dog." Sirius could see the slight smile that appeared on the man's face. If he had not been so afraid he would have laughed.

"Well, what is it that you and your dog want with my wife?" The man crossed his arms. Sirius did not have to have dog intuition to know basic body language. His whole posture screamed fear and aggression. Sirius _really_ hoped that Remus could think of a good reason for being here.

"We're here to help her. I know she's a werewolf." If Sirius had hands he would have smacked himself on the head. Or maybe Remus. What was he thinking?

The man took a shock back in shock. His mouth was open. "How do you kn......I mean......what, what are you talking about? Who are you?" He tried to regain his composure, moving forward again to try and block the door. He was clearly shocked and terrified of Remus but trying desperately the keep control of the situation. Sirius was wondering if this might end up in a fight when a female hand touched the man's shoulder. A woman with long brunette hair came into view. The gentle pressure of her hand on his shoulder seemed enough to move him aside. She was looking at her husband.

"Jack, it's ok. Let them in." She then looked at Remus. "You're him aren't you. The other wolf." The man looked even more shocked when Remus nodded. She then looked down at Sirius. "And...your dog. He's...he was there too." She frowned slightly, confused. "He isn't..." She looked back at Remus. "He isn't a dog."

Sirius tensed. Could she tell that? Remus had always known that he was actually an animagi, but could other wolves that did not know sense the difference? This was an interesting and potentially worrying fact.

"Well, could we talk about this inside?" The man, Jack, stepped back completely and Sirius followed Remus into the house.


	7. Anna

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Disclaimer: I do know own these characters, they belong to JKR. I'm just borrowing them and making no profit. 

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Dedication: To the marvellous and tolerant housemates o' mine. I love you guys!!

~ Chapter 7 ~

Remus watched the woman ahead of him move through to a sitting room. He had never met another wolf this close to the full moon and he could feel himself drawn to her. She must be feeling the same thing. That was how she had known he was the wolf.

Sirius followed at Remus' heels. He wanted to tell the man to transform back, the woman seemed to know that he was not a dog already, but he knew Sirius would object to giving away his cover. As Remus took the offered seat Sirius sat alert at his feet. The woman looked at him.

"I don't know how this is, but you are not a dog. I can sense it, so if you would prefer to sit on a chair feel free." Jack looked puzzled, frowning at his wife, evidently not knowing what she was talking about. Sirius looked up at Remus and there was unspoken communication. Finally Sirius transformed.

Jack leapt to his feet. "What the fuck?" He looked baffled and out of his depth. "Who are you? What the hell?" His wife placed a hand on his arm. Remus noticed Sirius rolling his eyes and caught a mutter of something that sounded like "Muggles." He suppressed a laugh. He rolled his own eyes. That would just make things perfect...Jack freaking out, Sirius disgruntled and him in hysterics. Remus bit his tongue to stem another burst of laughter at the mental image.

Sirius held out his hand. "Hi. I'm... James." Remus hoped that Jack had not noticed the slight pause before Sirius gave a name. James. It must have been the first one that jumped to mind. Jack accepted the extended hand, shaking it as though it would suddenly transform into a paw again. Remus could see Sirius suppressing a wicked grin. He looked away, not wanting to set himself off again. He never seemed to laugh this much when Sirius was not around. He looked up again at his lover. The woman was holding out her hand to him. "Hello, I'm Anna." Sirius shook her hand gently and then sat down. Remus cleared his throat to speak but was beaten to it by Jack.

"How is this possible? He's...he was a dog." Sirius grinned openly this time. It was not often he got to shock people, muggles especially and his mischievous side still obviously existed even if it was tempered.

"So you can accept that your wife becomes a wolf every full moon, but not that someone could possess the ability to become a dog at will?" Remus said, still keeping his voice even. 

Jack smiled lop-sidedly. "Well I didn't exactly have a choice in the former." The smile disappeared. "Is that why you're here?" Anna's head cocked slightly at this. Remus recognised it as a gesture Sirius had always teased him about due to its canine similarities. He and Sirius shared a glance, both amused. Anna raised an eyebrow. She was obviously as anxious to know what was going on, but had deferred to her husband until he was happier with the situation.

Remus again exchanged a look with Sirius. Sirius shrugged, motioning that Remus should take this part of the conversation. He wondered where to begin.

"How long has this been going on? How long have you known that you area a werewolf?" Remus asked. They needed the basic information. Anna glanced at her husband. She seemed a quiet and calm woman. Jack evidently adored her.

"This was my forth full moon. I was bitten about four and half months ago I think." Remus saw Sirius' head come up sharply.

"Two and a half months ago? Not during a full moon? Who bit you?" Remus puzzled. It was rare for someone to be turned on a night other than the full moon. Most wolves were careful not to bite, avoiding spreading the 'infection'. The majority of those turned were survivors of a wolf attack on the full moon. Remus leaned forward.

Anna told a simple story. She had been out to buy some groceries and a strange man had walked up to he and bitten her on the shoulder, drawing blood, and then running off as she called for help. Jack then took over the tale.

"Close to the next full moon Anna started to get slightly violent and would snap for no reason." Remus nodded. "We hoped maybe that it was her hormones and that she was pregnant," the couple exchanged an adoring look, "but then on the night of the moon I heard Anna screaming out in the back garden. I ran outside and she was...changing. Her face was growing longer and hair was sprouting. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to help her, but she went for me and I had to run back into the house." Jack placed his head in his hands, obviously feeling guilty at leaving his wife outside.

Remus spoke in a low voice. "You did the right thing. If you ha stayed out with her she would have killed you." Jack looked up into Remus' eyes and then nodded slowly. Anna took his hand and stroked it.

"So why are you here? What do you want? Just to find other wolves?" Anna's gaze was direct. Remus could again feel the wolf inside him drawn to her. He looked away.

"I've been a werewolf since I was a boy. There is a registry for wolves, to make sure they don't hurt anyone. After last night I have told them about you, and that I was searching for you. We will tell them where you live and you will have some trained people to help you deal with the changes." Remus tried to make his voice as reassuring as possible, but Jack looked less than pleased.

"Is that really necessary? I've been dealing with it just fine up until now. We don't want other people in our business." It was clear that Anna agreed. Remus wondered how to explain the necessity to two people who were just scared and shocked.

Sirius sat forward and spoke. "Anna." The woman's head moved sharply to Sirius, as though she had forgotten that he was there. "Do you know what would have happened last night if I hadn't been there?" Anna blushed slightly. Jack frowned. "It would not have been your fault, the wolf is very strong and takes over completely on the full moon, but it's a little known fact that werewolves mate for life. If I had not stopped what was inevitable last night then you would be mated for life to Remus."

Anna looked to Remus who nodded and continued. "You would not have been able to let Jack even kiss you. The wolf would not let you. Everything would tell you that you were mine, and vice versa."

Jack paled. Anna stood up and walked over to the window. She was silent for a few moments. "Can I mate with Jack?" Remus had been expecting the question.

"Yes you can, but it takes more effort than a wolf-wolf mating. And you need to be sure because there is _no_ going back." Anna nodded again and turned back to them.

"Tell the registry." She looked at Jack who nodded. Remus let out a sigh or relief that he had not even known he was holding.

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((( A/N... Short chapter I know, but I was having writer's block on this chapter. The rest is going ok, but this one chapter was giving me problems, so sorry if it sounds a little forced! I will get back into the flow in the following chapters. Thanks for being patient! **)))**


	8. Who wins? You decide.

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Disclaimer... They are not mine. Sirius, Remus and all of the other Harry Potter characters belong to JKR. And would I really want them? Well...ok...yes I would, but I can't have them, so I borrow and play, and return within the allotted time.

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Dedication... Yes yes yes....I have more dedications. I like dedications. I think they are nice. Plus I think it adds a nice wee bit of mystery. As in "Ooooh ooh! I wonder who Airin has dedicated _this_ chapter to?". Ok, so you probably don't care that much, but I do so...on with the aforementioned dedication. To Naked Graham Norton! May the dog grow hungry and go in search of food. ;) (For those of you who don't know who Graham Norton is....Tsk tsk!! Go look him up now!)

~ Chapter 8 ~

Sirius sat down heavily on the bed. He unlaced his boots and used his toes to force off first one, then the other. The black leather made two dull thuds as they bounced against the thick carpet of the bedroom floor. He then leaned back, resting on his elbows and looked up at Remus still standing just inside the door.

Remus was making no move to settle into the room but was standing staring, a slight frown maring his face as he though deeply. Sirius knew what the problem was and it angered him. How could Remus tell him he loved him one minute, then blanch the next when someone made it clear that they knew of their coupling? All Anna had done was to give them a double bed together, and after Sirius' reaction to her on the night of the full moon it was not surprising she knew. Yet here was Remus morose because of it.

Sirius sighed and stood up. "Remi, forget about it." He said, shoving the boots into a corner and striping off his T-shirt. Remus frowned more.

"But did you see the look on Jack's face? He was completely shocked."

"He couldn't have been more shocked than finding out I was a dog." Sirius tried to interject some humour. Old habits died hard. It was plain Remus was not going to laugh though. Sirius sighed again. "Who cares if he was shocked Moony. He won't even remember I was here in the morning! It doesn't matter." Sirius watched Remus for a second but the other man continued to frown. This was just senseless. Remus was proud to be his friend, in spite of his being a convicted murderer, but embarrassed when it came to strangers knowing that they were lovers for just one night, before forgetting in the morning. Sirius actually felt quite hurt. He loved the other man with his body and soul. For him they were a miracle that he wanted to shout from the rooftops. Remus was his soul mate, but his inability to admit anything felt like a rejection. A denial. That was painful. 

Sirius had been looking forward to being alone together again, to sleeping wrapped in strong arms, but now Remus was worried, resigning him to a cold night.

"I don't know about you," Sirius began, "but I'm going to make the most of this double bed. God knows when we'll get to sleep in a proper bed again." Sirius unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off in one fluid motion. "If you're that bothered about what they think take the top blanket and sleep on the sofa." Sirius knew some of the hurt he was feeling must be apparent in his voice and he did feel he sounded vaguely like an offended housewife, but he didn't care. He turned to the bed and pulled back the covers to climb in. As he leaned over he felt strong muscular arms slip around his still thin body. A husky voice spoke in his ear.

"I don't want to sleep on the sofa." Remus breathed. The effect on Sirius was immediate. He could feel his body responding to the suggestion in his voice. He pressed back into the firm body behind him.

"Are you sure?" Sirius felt hands travelling over his body, one trailing through the black hair on his chest and the other sliding beneath the waistband of his boxers.

"Very sure. I may not like them knowing Pad, but nothing could stop me sleeping next to you. I slept without you for far too long." Sirius was mollified. Remus may still be far from wanting to march in Gay Pride, but at least he had not chosen the sofa for outward appearances sake. Remus began kissing his neck and Sirius turned to face him. He began tugging at Remus' top and deftly unfastening the buttons on his trousers. Remus pulled him in and their lips touched gently, softly brushing tender skin. As Sirius let Remus' trousers drop their kiss deepened. Sirius forgot about anything but the touch of this man and the feeling of elation in his heart.

*

Sirius dozed, content. He was satiated and sleeping next to Remus. Everything was right. In the darkness he heard a soft voice.

"I'm sorry Siri. I didn't mean to make you think I don't care about you enough to sleep on the sofa." Sirius reviewed the sentence in his head a few times to catch the meaning through his sleep addled brain. Finally he whispered back.

"I know Moony." He curled closer to Remus and kissed him before drifting back off to sleep.

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(((A/N... Another short chapter I know, but I'm getting back into the swing of it all! I've been doing temp work (blich!) and it's very boring, so I've taken to writing while I'm there. Bad Airin! Hope you are all enjoying reading it as much as I love writing it. Sweet Sirius and Remus.**)))**


	9. Incriminating

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Disclaimer... "And I.....ee....I......will always love youuuuuuu...oooooooo!"....huh? Oh yeah....the disclaimer. Sorry, got carried away there! Ehem.... these characters and the world of Harry Potter are not mine. They all belong to JKR, that fantastically talented woman who is torturing us all unnecessarily by withholding Order of the Phoenix! But until then I will play with the already wonderful characters she has devised and promise to make no profit from their use. Am I done? Can I sing more? *cough* "Everything you are...falls from the sky like a star"

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Dedication... To the lovely people at my work for making it boring and slow. If not for that I would never have written this chapter when I became inspired at my desk. And, as always, to Bally for being Ballyish. There is no one like her.

~ Chapter 9 ~

Remus held the man from behind as he lashed out, biting, punching and kicking. He did not want Sirius to get too close and so had to subdue him alone. If he was bitten, so be it, he was already a wolf, but Sirius could not take that risk. Remus could feel the strength of the man fighting against him, but his own inner wolf was more than a match. He soon wrestled him to the floor; Sirius conjuring ropes and chains to bind him.

It had been two weeks since memory charming Jack and Anna to forget about Sirius and leaving them in the Registry's care. They had set out to hunt the werewolf that had bitten Anna. This was that man. It had been difficult at first, having only Anna's vague description and Remus' rapidly waning wolf abilities, but once Sirius had picked up the right scent the task had gotten easier. Now that they had found him the Registry would find it quite easy to confirm he was the wolf who had changed Anna.

Sirius sat back against the alley wall once the man was firmly bound and gagged. He grinned at Remus. "Well, that was fun!" Remus grinned back. It was good to be working with Sirius like this. It felt like they were fulfilling their schoolday's fantasies to become Aurors. The Registry had in fact tried to put Aurors on this case, but Dumbledore had convinced them that Remus was perfect for the job. Hopefully this catch would prove him right. Remus just thought that it was shame Sirius could not claim any credit for his part.

Thinking of Sirius made Remus recall that they would have to put a strong Memory Charm on the werewolf to make sure he said nothing of Sirius to the Registry.

Sirius continued. "So will you have the honour of searching his person for incriminating evidence or shall I risk a lycanthropic future?" Remus was pleased to see Sirius' amiable nature re-asserting itself and his black and dark leftovers from Azkaban dissipating.

"I'll do it." Remus began to search the man's pockets as he struggled and cursed into the gag. Sirius was sat watching, leaning against the red brick wall, knees pulled up and apart, with his arms resting on them. He was still panting a little from the run the wolf had given them and Remus thought he looked very sexy. Post coital almost. Though he was watching Remus search he knew Sirius was also paying attention to the alley opening. It would not do to have some well-meaning muggle stumble in and think they were committing a mugging.

Remus pulled a wallet out of a well-disguised inner pocket, brandishing it to Sirius as though it were Excaliber. Sirius chuckled at the dramatisation as Remus opened the wallet and pulled out the man's Registry ID card.

"Dayfus Williams." Remus read out. "Welsh, 44, usually works for the department of house elf relocation."

"What happened?" Sirius asked, "Did he get bored?" Sirius laughed at his own joke as Remus searched to see if there was anything else of interest. After a few seconds he made a triumphant sound and pulled out a folded letter on quite expensive parchment. The man began to struggle more as Remus unfolded the envelope and read aloud the address.

"??????" Sirius jotted down the address as he read it out. He then opened the letter itself and read it aloud too.

"_Congratulations Dayfus. 125 is far better that the others. I wonder how biting random muggles can prove so difficult for them, but your point about keeping a low profile is a good one. I want you to begin work on higher muggles now. Influential ones. Report back often. Our newly risen Lord is proud of your work._

D.E."

Remus frowned. "I'm assuming D.E. stands for 'Death Eater.' Fairly anonymous. Well, it's a lead, but not very good news."

Sirius nodded. "125. 125 muggles that are now werewolves. Shit." Remus echoed the sentiment. A werewolf who knew what was happening to themselves and took precautions was one thing, but a muggle who had no idea what they were and how to deal wit it was a danger to themselves and others. Times that danger by 125, plus the number these 'others' had changed...Remus broke into a cold sweat just thinking about the possible carnage. A situation like this also put the secrecy of the Wizarding World in jeopardy. What could this Death Eater be thinking? What was the end result of this plan except to cause chaos?

"We need to find out who these others are and who this Death Eater is." Sirius said. Remus nodded. He rubbed a hand over his face, a rasping sound betraying the slight stubble on his face. He knew Sirius was watching his, knowing how this news would be affecting him. He felt a kind of shared guilt.

Remus eventually spoke. "You head off Pad. I'll speak to the Registry when they arrive and meet you back in that alley. You know the one." Sirius nodded. "We'll find somewhere to sleep tonight and head to this address tomorrow." Sirius looked as though he was going to say something, but instead pushed to his feet using the wall and left the alley.

Remus turned back to the man, Dayfus. He reached down and pulled off the gag. Dayfus glared at him.

"You're a wolf too." He said sharply. It was not a question but Remus nodded anyway. "So why are you working against your own kind?" Remus felt his guilt grow into anger and he stood up over Dayfus.

"You are not my kind. I would never inflict our disease on others for an evil man."

Dayfus laughed. "Evil you say? Yet here you are, shunned by all, feared, hated, forced to think of your gift as a 'disease' and you say these are the good people? I on the other hand am treated well. I am respected, put in positions that my skills warrant. So who are the better people?"

Remus snarled deep in his throat. "There is a difference between ignorance and evil." 

Dayfus' grin grew. "And you would know about evil wouldn't you, fucking Sirius Black. How is he by the way? Still on the run? Did he like Azkaban?" Remus started forward. He was growling and wanted nothing more than to rip this man's throat out and give it as a gift to Sirius, but he stopped himself. If he gave in to his baser nature he would be no different to the thing sprawled on the floor at his feet. Instead he held up his wand and incanted.

"Oblivate!"


	10. Surprises

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Disclaimer... Yada yada yada... not mine etc etc. They belong to JKR. And right now I am broke and I can't even claim to be a slacker student any more! So suing me would be pointless. I am making no profit.

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Dedication... This is dedicated to my parents, and my friends, and my dog fluffy, and my cat Bob, and my landlord, and the police for being so understanding, and the off license, and Ikea for selling me things, and my teacher when I was 5.... Uh...sorry, got a little Oscar-y there! Ok...this is for all of the people who review me. I love you all for encouraging me!! *Oscar style kisses* 

~ Chapter 10 ~

Sirius followed Remus over to the nearby bar. Although the sign outside has seemed to indicate that there were vacancies for the night, the only person apparent was the barman. Sirius glanced around casually as her listened to Remus enquire about rooms. The Barman's voice was low as he mentioned prices and times. 

Sirius' eyes wandered over the tables and chairs. It was late afternoon, and although there were a few dedicated drinkers already with glasses littering their tables, the whole place was basically empty. In fact, it seemed as though the bar had not been open long, which was surprising as Sirius knew muggle pubs usually opened at lunchtime.

It was quite bright at the bar, darker over the tables, but colourfully lighted over a long low stage at the centre. Sirius assumed that there must be live acts, though none had been advertised outside. He briefly wondered what use the long floor to ceiling poles would be, situated in the centre and on two sides of the stage.

Remus finished paying the barman for a room. It had taken a little while to convince him that they needed only one, even if it did only have a double bed. Sirius knew Remus would happily have paid for two rooms to avoid the odd look the barman was affording them, but their supply of muggle money was running low. The two men picked up their bags and followed the barman's directions to their room. It all seemed a little haphazard to Sirius, but the rooms were not too expensive and it was better than sleeping on the floor. He should know.

Remus pushed open the door after wrestling with the key for a few seconds. The room was dark due to the stunning view of a brick wall through the tiny window. It was a bright afternoon but Remus flicked on the overhead light so they could see the room properly. There was a double bed with dingy lime green sheets and only one pillow. The floor was covered with a brown carpet that Sirius hoped had not once been cream. The walls were bare and cracked. He dumped his bag on the floor and stuck his head around the doorway into the small bathroom, noting that there was no bath, only a slimy shower and a toilet.

"Lovely. Five star even." Sirius joked, turning back to Remus. He noticed the way Remus was observing his appraisal of the room and ginned mischievously. He pulled up the front of his T-shirt, revealing a strip of olive skin and a line of black hair leading down from his navel and disappearing beneath the pale boxers peaking slightly above the jeans slung low on his hips. He watched Remus' eyes drop to the bared flesh, licking his lips. Sirius knew he wanted to kiss it. He had to admit that muggle clothing suited him, and he knew Remus agreed.

Still teasing, knowing the show he was putting on, Sirius walked over to the bed and lay down on it, stretching out like a cat. He toed off his boots and lay on his back, hands behind his head, letting the T-shirt ride up again.

"Quite comfortable." He said, as though he were not creating a display for Remus.

"Good thing." Remus replied, his voice breathy. He slipped out of his long overcoat and boots, placing them down in a corner without letting his eyes leave Sirius. He then walked over to the bed and climbed on to it gently. His legs were astride Sirius' ankles and he let his hands slide underneath the cuff on the jeans, stroking the soft hair on his legs. Sirius watched, delighting in every caress. Slowly Remus moved further up, eyes fixed on the skin showing at Sirius' mid-drift. He leaned down and pressed soft lips against the hot skin, causing Sirius to moan involuntarily. He kissed lazily, his hands sliding around Sirius and up the back of the T-shirt. Sirius arched his back into the touch. He had fully been expecting another primadonna act from Remus. It was good to be wrong sometimes.

Remus pushed the T-shirt higher, kissing the caressing as much of the skin that he could reach. Sirius wanted to kiss him but the feeling of those lips on his skin was intoxicating. Suddenly Remus seemed to get annoyed at having to push the material out of his way and sat back on his knees, pulling the top off Sirius and then leaning in for a kiss. Sirius kissed back and pulled Remus down on top of him. It did not matter how many times they did this, it would never be enough. As their bodies melded both men were in complete accord.

*

Sirius took one of the tables close to the stage. If there was going to be a show then they may as well have front row seats. Remus was buying the drinks, using the logic that the fewer people who interacted with Sirius, the less likely he was to be recognised.

The bar was beginning to fill up and Sirius idly watched others take various tables. All of the people arriving seemed to be men, alone, or in raucous groups. In fact, as Sirius sat up and peered about, there was not a single woman in the entire bar, except a few scantily clad ones behind the bar. Sirius pondered. Was this some kind of men only club? He leaned back in his chair and considered putting his feet up on the table, but spotted Remus looking for where he had sat, two pints of Guinness in his hands. Sirius sat up again and waved to attract the other man's attention. Remus nodded to show he had seen and wound his way through the maze of tables. He placed the pints down and took the other chair at the table. Other men had apprehended the other two and Sirius had needed to be adamant to prevent this one going too.

Remus sat facing the stage, but with his body angled towards Sirius. They both sipped from their drinks and sighed happily, grinning when they noticed their matching reactions. The Guinness had been a great discovery – a chewable beer that they both loved. Sirius leaned back and stretched his long legs out in front of him, allowing his calf to rest against Remus'.

"So, did you ask what show was on tonight?" Sirius asked. The darkness over the table gave a feeling of anonymity.

"I didn't ask." Remus said mildly. "The bar was too busy." Sirius was surprised. He glanced over his shoulder and sure enough, there were men at least two deep all along the bar. He raised his eyebrows. It looked like the night would be busier that the day had suggested.

Sirius turned back to Remus and smiled. He was feeling pretty good. Tomorrow they would continue the hunt, using tonight to enjoy themselves. He felt content to be doing some actual good for once. He wanted to protect Harry, but there was so little he could do whilst still a fugitive. At least now he was helping to make the world safer for his Godson as well as taking some revenge against the evil that had framed him. Added to all that was they fact that for the first time in his life he was with the man he loved, and was loved in return. Sirius grinned again, brushing his hand against Remus' and waiting for the show to begin.

Remus had just brought over their third pint when the lights over the tables dimmed even further and a spotlight appeared over the stage. The bar had filled up considerably and a lot of the men began to cheer. Sirius assumed that meant the show was about to start. He settled more comfortably into his chair, pint in hand.

About five minutes later Sirius felt able to speak again. "Uh...Remus? I didn't know muggles had places like this!" He looked over at Remus whose face mirrored his shock. On the stage, light brightly by swirling coloured lights, were two women dancing to music whilst writhing up against each other and stripping off their clothes. It suddenly became clear why the bar had been empty during the day, why there were only men in the bar and, most of all, why the barman had been so surprised at them asking for a double room to share. Those rooms must be used for customers hoping to get more than just a strip show.

Sirius could not help himself, he started to laugh. He caught Remus' eyes and the other man began to chuckle. Soon they were both doubled over, clutching their sides and trying not to draw too much attention.

Sirius leaned in and spoke over the music into Remus' ear. "We should suggest this idea to the Ministry!"

Remus laughed more, tears falling down his cheers. "Good idea...maybe it would give the Death Eaters something better to do with their evenings!"

Sirius was thankful that the dim light in the audience, and the men having eyes for only the dancers, meant no one noticed their mirth. Eventually they pulled themselves under control. Sirius shrugged to Remus and they sat back to enjoy the rest of the show.


	11. Joannna

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Disclaimer... No, they are not mine. *Sigh* I wish they were, but they are not. They are JKR's and I'm just having a play. I'm making no profit either.

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Dedication... To JK Rowling. Because, let's face it, if it wasn't for her none of us would be here!! And to my new wife Bally.

~ **Chapter 11** ~

Remus sat watching the woman on the stage, but really concentrating on the contact with Sirius beneath the table. That was not to say that the displays on the stage did not affect him, but that served only to make him want to take Sirius back upstairs and test out the dingy bed again. From the way Sirius' ankle rubbed against his own it was clear the feeling was mutual. The lights and music on the stage intensified. It was obvious a kind of finale was approaching. In the guise of anxious anticipation Remus shifted his chair closer to Sirius'. The other man grinned at him as their arms came into contact. 

Suddenly all the lights went out and the music stopped. A single spotlight appeared, shining on a woman who had not been there a few seconds before. Smoke crawled over the stage and drifted over the edge like a slow, misty waterfall. The woman was frozen in a semi-crouch. She wore a leopard skin bikini and a cat mask. Her hair was dark and fell like beautiful water across her smooth shoulders. Deep music began to throb from hidden speakers, the woman on the stage moved to its beat. Her motions were feral, animal. The entire bar was silent, watching with awe. Remus knew why. He tore his eyes away from the lithe body to look at Sirius. His eyes were wide as the lights began to brighten slowly over the stage, revealing others dressed in Amazonian attire, carrying spears. Remus managed to get Sirius attention and mouthed one word. _Wolf_. Sirius glanced up at the cat-woman and nodded once. She was a werewolf.

Remus could feel himself drawn to the woman on stage. She was using every animal ability at her disposal to wow the audience. She could have no doubt as to her action and their result. Remus shook his head and turned his eyes from the stage. Never before had he been so attracted to another wolf while not in wolf form. Only Sirius' presence stopped him from climbing onto the stage. He watched the floor for what seemed like hours as the chase continued on stage, only looking back up when a collective gasp went up from the audience. The cat-woman had been caught and was being carried high to the front of the stage, mere feet from where they sat. The Amazonian women were now all naked, but the leopard skin was still all but covering the cat-woman, making a play of being caught and cowering on the floor.

As the naked Amazonians danced around the woman on the floor she looked up straight into Remus' eyes. Her shock was palpable and he knew she sensed his lycanthropy. As the dance ended the cat-woman reached up and, as a dramatic finish, removed her cat mask, tossing back her head to reveal a stunning, dark eyed face. Remus gasped and almost got to his feet. He and the woman stared at each other and there was no doubt in his mind that he knew this woman very well indeed.

*

The bar was basically empty, but still Remus sat at the table. He knew Sirius wanted to leave and search for the woman, but Remus knew she would come to them. The barman was cleaning glasses and watching them suspiciously, no doubt wondering why they didn't retire.

Finally the dark-haired woman stepped out from a side door and walked over to the bar. She now wore a cream trouser suit, but the tame clothing only seemed to enhance her beauty. She spoke briefly to the barman who lost his scowl. She then walked towards the table, a broad smile on her face. Remus stood to greet her and she took him in a tight embrace.

"God Remus, it's so good to see you." Remus hugged her back, aware of Sirius' confusion. They stepped back and Sirius came towards her, hand out to shake.

"I don't believe we've met. I'm Steven." The woman took the offered hand with a smile and before Remus could think of a way to introduce her she spoke.

"Hello. I'm Joanna Lupin, Remus' wife."

*

Joanna sat elegantly on a chair with her legs crossed. In one hand she swirled a double scotch, the other at her mouth as she absently bit a nail on one of the fingers not holding the cigarette. Remus remembered the habit well.

"How long have you been a wolf Jo?" Remus needed to know what was going on. Joanna inhaled from the cigarette and blew out the smoke confidently.

"Getting on for five years now." She paused, thinking. In fact, it must be nearing six now!" She laughed. "God, how time flies."

Remus heard Sirius growl slightly, low in his throat. Before he could stop him he leaned forward. "So how long have the two of you been married?" Sirius was clearly not happy.

Joanna smiled pleasantly at Remus. "It will be seven years in October." Sirius scowled but Joanna seemed not to notice.

"Wow. Seven years. That's a long time to be married to someone. Amazing what you can forget isn't it." He looked pointedly at Remus who squirmed when he saw Joanna frown slightly at Sirius' tone.

"Well, Remus and I won't have seen each other for seven years this November, unfortunately." She smiled again.

It was Remus' turn to frown. "'Unfortunately' Jo? It was you that left me if I remember rightly." Remus tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice for Sirius' sake, but could see by the other man's face he had failed.

Sirius sat back. "So can I know the full tale? Or is this just a couple thing?" Remus sighed at the anger in Sirius' voice and saw Joanna frown again.

"I met Jo about eight or nine years ago." Remus began. He had not thought about all of this for a long time. "I was working in a bar in Bristol and had been for a long time. I was trying to forget everything to do with James, Lily, my heritage and everything. I met Jo there."

Joanna cut in. "I started working there too while I was between other jobs. I was confronted by this gorgeous man who everyone assured me never dated. Most were convinced he was gay!" Jo laughed lightly at the memory but Remus made a small distressed sound in his throat while Sirius' scowl deepened.

Remus continued. "Jo and I got together and we decided to get married. I never told her about my lycanthropy though. I was too afraid that she would leave me." Joanna looked troubled. "But when we got married I knew I'd have to tell her. I knew I was mating to her but I couldn't commit to her without her knowing. So about a month after we got married I told her, and she left." Remus looked at her. "I believe your exact words were that I disgusted you?"

Sirius looked perversely more pleased but Joanna hung her head slightly. She reached out and took Remus' hand. "I'm so sorry Reem. I had no idea werewolves even existed and suddenly the man that I have married tells me not only that they do, but that he is one and wants to mate himself for life with me! I freaked out." She sat back and lit another cigarette." It took me a few months to realise how stupid I had been. I searched for you everywhere but you seemed to disappear off the face of the Earth. I read up on werewolves, but there was only myth available so I hunted for someone to fill me in. Finally I found someone willing to bite me."

Remus' eyes shot open wide. "You became one on purpose?"

"Of course! I wanted to show you that I wanted to be with you too, and to mate with you. And it was amazing! You made it sound like such a curse, but I could feel the life pumping through my veins." Her smile became a grin. " I love it. I love the sexuality it gives me."

Remus shook his head. "It is a curse." He said quietly. Joanna reached out and touched his arm again. 

"Remus, I've looked for you for six years. I hoped so much that you wouldn't be mated and I can feel on here," She held a hand to her chest, "that you aren't." Remus looked into her eyes.

Suddenly Sirius' chair was pushed back with such a force that it toppled, breaking in the eye contact between the two. His face was a thundercloud. "No, your not mated are you 'Reem'?" He echoed the nickname Joanna had used and understanding finally flooded her face. She looked from Sirius to Remus and then back again.

"Oh! Are you two..." Remus jumped in before she could finish. He could not bare the thought off this woman who had judged him before and left him, judging him again.

"No no, nothing like that." Sirius stared at him; the anger in his face drained and was replaced by hurt. Remus felt his heart contract.

"No." Sirius agreed, looking straight into Remus' eyes. "Nothing like that." He picked up the chair and placed it gently at the table. He wished Joanna a goodnight and turned to walk towards the stairs.


	12. Morning After

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Disclaimer... Belongeth to the JKR. Belongeth not to me. I is poor of money and grammar.

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Dedication... Who else? My Sarah. _My_ Sarah. Who else could understand?

~ **Chapter 12** ~

Sirius lay in bed with only his boxers on, quilt pulled up to his chin. He felt as though every muscle in his stomach was trying to twist inside out and force his heart out through his mouth. Why was it that every time things might just be going his way, fate stepped in to rip it all away?

He tried to sleep. He had come upstairs over two hours ago and still there was no sign of Remus. Every time he heard a noise his ears pricked up, but he knew Remus must have gone to Joanna's room by now. Probably to mate. He tried to push the pain away but it screamed at his insides. He would have got dressed, changed into the dog and left if it had not been for his sense of obligation. Dumbledore was relying on them and he wanted to do Harry proud. He tried to ignore the small part of him that still hoped he could be near Remus, even if he could not be _with_ him. He tried to bury his head under the pillow.

The door opened. Sirius had left it unlocked and he looked up to see Remus silhouetted in the doorway. His heart leapt in spite of himself but he forced himself to lie back and close his eyes. He listened to the door close, the sound of clothing against skin. He was confused. Remus was undressing.

The light stayed off but eventually Sirius felt the quilt lift and the bed dipped as Remus climbed in. He shifted across the bed, seeking Sirius and wrapped his arms around him. He was naked. Sirius stiffened and he heard Remus sigh.

"Nothing happened Sirius. I haven't seen her in seven years." Sirius could hear the slight rebuke in Remus tone and it angered him.

"Maybe not, but you were quick enough to go all starry-eyed Remus. You can't deny that."

Remus sat up, abandoning his pretence that everything was fine. "Can't deny what? That I was drawn to another wolf close to the full moon? You know I can't help that. It was nothing."

Sirius sat up too. If he concentrated he could just make out Remus' outline. "Nothing? If it was nothing then why did you deny what was happening between us?"

Remus spoke quietly. "You know why."

Sirius felt his anger consume him. "Well I tell you what Remus, we can only have a relationship if _both_ people involved are willing to admit that they are, in fact, involved. It doesn't work if one person is just thinking 'this is great to pass the time until I find a nice girl to settle down with and have a _real_ family." Remus began to protest but Sirius cut him off. "So I'll tell you what, when you feel that you want to be in a _proper_ relationship with me, let me know, but until then we are only working together ok?" Sirius climbed out of the bed and dragged off the top blanket from the quilt. He managed to find the dilapidated chair in the darkness and settled into it. Remus' voice came through the darkness.

"Sirius, come on, please. Just come back into the bed." Sirius could hear the pain in his voice but he could not back down. Not on this.

"Friends don't usually sleep together Remus." He answered. Remus sighed heavily. Neither spoke again that night.

*

Sirius woke up on the chair with a crick in his neck. It had taken him hours to fall asleep and had woken often. He had listened to Remus tossing and turning, so many times almost climbing back into the bed and wrapping himself in the other man's arms, but he had resisted.

Remus stirred on the bed and he eyes immediately sought Sirius' in the dim light. Sirius pushed off the blanket and stood up, stretching.

"We should get going. Get to that address early." Remus continued to watch him.

"Sirius." Sirius turned to look at him, still lying in bed. "Nothing happened. We talked and I told her that I couldn't get back together with her."

Sirius watched him for a moment and had no doubt he was telling the truth. "Did you tell her why?" Remus shook his head. "And that's the problem. She isn't the cause of this Remus, she's a symptom of something that's been here all along. She is just a catalyst to show that you haven't been honest with me, and not about me either. You're embarrassed by what you feel, and about what you have with me. We can't live like that." Sirius paused. "I can't live like that. I'm not expecting you to shout it from the rooftops, but I deserve some respect." Sirius turned away. "But we haven't got time for this now." He pulled on his clothes swiftly, turning to lean against the wall, arms crossed to wait for Remus. Remus finally pushed out of the bed. Sirius' breath caught at the sight of his beautiful and strong naked body, but forced himself to look away. On this thing he could not compromise.

*

They left the bar quickly, handing back the keys to the room and Remus leaving a message for Joanna that he would keep in touch. Out of sight in an alley Sirius became Padfoot, a situation that he was fine with as it meant there was no way to make conversation with Remus. They made their way through the streets of Glasgow towards the address given on the letter. Dumbledore had already been informed of the situation and had promised to round up some Aurors who could step in if things got out of control, but no problems were expected.

The two men stood outside the tall, Georgian house with a couple of broken windows and graffiti on the front door. It did not look very habitable. Remus walked up to the front door while Sirius sniffed the air. There was a magical feel to the place, but not more than would be expected from a wizard werewolf living there. He trotted into the overhanging porch and transformed back into his human form. Remus looked at him.

"Shall we?" He held up his wand. Remus nodded. Sirius pointed to the lock. "Alohomora!"

The door creaked open. Sirius chuckled at the cliché, adrenaline pumping through his body. In spite of his mental reassurances to himself, he could not help but feel something was wrong. They both stepped in, wands at the ready, geared to aparate should the slightest problem come up.

Crumbling stairs lead away up to their right. As they passed Sirius glanced up, seeing nothing. They continued through into an old lounge, the fireplace dusty and spilling out ash. There was one battered old sofa, green and mouldy. It was hard to believe that someone had been living here.

Sirius and Remus both realised it at the same time. Something was wrong. They looked at each other, and by unspoken agreement the tried to aparate. No success. Sirius cursed as he ran to the door, bumping straight into a tall and broad wizard. Ropes coiled from the corners, binding both men tight, the ties about their legs causing them to trip. Sirius knew he could transform into a dog, throwing off the ropes, but with the room full of wizards as it was there was no way he could save Remus too. Better to wait until there was more of a chance. A familiar voice from the shadows made his freeze. A wizard in dark robes stepped out. McNair.

"What's this? We set a wolf trap and catch a fugitive to boot. Bargain." He steepled his fingers. Sirius tried to suppress a laugh. Had he been watching too many muggle films? There seemed to be five more wizards in the room, too many to take on at once. There was no choice but to wait and see why and how the Death Eater had brought them here.


	13. Nothing Else Matters

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Disclaimer... Tisn't mine. None of it is. I don't claim to own any of it, and I will not make any profit. Just think of it as an exercise in writing technique, of which I have none either.

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Dedication... To alcohol. I still drink to your health.

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Randomness... Sorry about the wait folks...I've been working full time and also trying to buy a house. But thanks to those who have stuck with it! I love Remus and Sirius and so writing this story has been great. As you can no doubt tell, this is the last chapter, so I hope you've all enjoyed it.

The song in this chapter is "Nothing Else Matters" by Metallica.

~ **Chapter 13** ~

Remus watched McNair laughing as Sirius made a show of struggling against the bonds. He had mentally tried to will Sirius to transform and go for help, but he knew the other man would never leave him, no matter how much their relationship was in tatters. He quickly berated himself for thinking about things like that when in such a dire situation. They had to get out of here.

"So," McNair had obviously given up waiting for Remus to join in the struggle, and placed their wands on the dusty mantelpiece. "No doubt you are wondering why you are here." Remus heard Sirius snort and looked over at the dark-haired man who appeared to be trying not to laugh.

"Right. Is this the part where you call us 'Meester Bond' and reveal your entire evil scheme?" Remus frowned in confusion, but Sirius seemed to find it highly amusing. McNair pulled back and slammed a fist into Sirius' nose which broke with a sickening crack. Remus winced and turned away. McNair leaned in close to Sirius.

"No, Black. This is where I decide whether to kill you for a spare, or serve you as a gift to my Master." Sirius rolled his eyes, still chuckling through the blood flowing from his nose. He hadn't even seemed to notice it. Remus decided to pull McNair's attention from him. He spoke in a low voice; a controlled voice he had always found useful when teaching.

"So what do you want with me. I gather this is all a wild goose chase yes?" McNair turned and grinned at him. It was a hideous sight. This was a man who had always been dark and quiet. His good humour and change was no doubt do to Voldemort's return, but it made it no easier to see.

"A wild goose chase? No. A wild wolf chase." He and all the others in the room seemed to find this highly funny and Remus swore he saw one of the wizards slap another on the back in humour. He scowled deeply.

"There were no other wolves. There was just Anna. You made here a wolf because you knew I lived near there, but not exactly why. And if there was a trail of wolves, I would follow it to stop the killing. Dayfus was just another pawn. But that's not his real name." Remus cursed as McNair' broadening grin confirmed all that he had just said. "You just wanted me. Why." The last came out more as a statement than a question and Sirius looked over at him, puzzled at the resignation in his voice.

"You know why."

Sirius chimed in, voice slightly thick. "I don't" McNair answered him with a kick to the stomach. Before he knew it Remus was trying to get to his feet growling at McNair. He was bound to the chair, but he lunged toward the heavyset Death Eater. Strong hands pulled him back and sat him back down.

"Well well. The wolf likes to protect the helpless little fugitive." He turned his attentions back to Sirius. "I may have to keep you alive after all then Black. Torturing you may get him to turn more quickly than if we just worked on him." Remus growled deeply. The only thing that kept him from lunging forward again to fasten his teeth onto McNair's throat was the knowledge that Sirius could get out of here anytime he wanted.

McNair kept his grin as he looked pointedly again at Remus. He then turned towards the door, laughing. He spoke to one of the wizards. "Watch them closely. Black escaped Azkaban so he's a tricky one. I'm going to owl Wormtail that his old friend has finally taken the bait."

Remus looked at Sirius and saw his own thoughts mirrored there. As soon as Wormtail heard that Sirius was here too he would tell them that he was an animagus and any chance of escape would be gone. They had to move fast. With McNair having just left the room the guards would not be expecting an immediate escape attempt, especially having seen how useless Remus' had been. All they had to do was get far enough outside of the wards to aparate.

There were three wizards left in the room. It would take seconds for Sirius to change, get to their wands and free Remus, but with three wands pointed at them those few seconds might not be enough. Remus took a deep breath. He had to give Sirius all the time he could.

Remus jumped to his feet, unable to stand properly with the chair there, but he ran towards the nearest wizard. They may have planned this capture, but no doubt expecting only one person to guard. With any luck the other two would both try to help, leaving Sirius unguarded for a few seconds. As he felt two pairs of strong hands pull him off the wizard he grinned. He saw the wizard's eyes widen as he looked over Remus shoulder, no doubt only just realising the error. Remus heard a voice hiss '_stupify_' and then blackness overtook him.

*

Remus fought his way up through what seemed like wads of black cotton wool back to consciousness. As he became more aware he remembered that they were trapped in the old house and struggled to sit up. Hands gripped his shoulders and pressed him back onto the soft – _soft_ – sheets beneath him.

"It's ok Remus. We're safe now." Remus blinked a few times and saw Sirius sitting above him. He rubbed at his eyes and moved his head uncomfortably.

"That was some charm you put on us Sirius." He frowned. "How long was I out? Why didn't you wake me?" He paused. "How the hell did we get out?"

Sirius grinned and stood up. "By the ingeniousness of myself and James Bond films." Remus' frown deepened. "Come on Remus. James Bond!" For some reason Remus felt he should at least pretend to know what the other man was talking about. At least Sirius was talking to him. "No one had heard your idiotic charge at the guard, or else expected there to be some noise, but after you were all out of it no on came bursting in as I expected." Sirius was gesticulating wildly as he spoke, evidently much pleased with himself. "I pulled the one guy's robes on, put another set on you –" Remus looked down to see that he was in fact wearing a stolen robe, "- and flung you over my shoulder. I then ran out shouting that you had knocked out one of the guards, that I was taking you out to wake up, and that two more should go in to take our places. Once outside I did the summoning spell Dumbledore gave us for the Aurors and aparated us the hell out of there." Sirius stood, hands on hip, grinning. Remus blinked.

"And that worked?" Sirius nodded happily. "So they completely failed to notice that we looked nothing like the guards and believed what you said?" 

"As I said, I ran past pretty quickly, plus, if you remember, being a watcher of James Bond films helped." Remus knew he must look as confused at he felt because Sirius laughed and clarified. "In those films James doesn't even bother with disguises. He just sticks with the premise that if you say something firmly enough, and with enough conviction, people will believe you. And by the time they have a chance to think about it, you have a good 5-10 second head start on them. And that's all I really needed right then."

Remus felt himself grinning back as he sat up again. Only Sirius black could have done something so bizarre and unorthodox and have it pay off. "So did the Aurors catch them?" He swung his legs over the side of the bed, peering around trying to gather where they were. Sirius answered his unspoken question, as well as the spoken one."

"It's an old flat that Dumbledore says he's kept since the old days when someone might need it to hide out. Apparently he has one in every city." Sirius shrugged. "And yes, they were caught. All but McNair and one other. Dumbledore told me they must have been upstairs and managed to get out pretty quickly."

Remus stood up. "How the hell long was I out?" A lot seemed to have happened. Sirius shrugged again.

"Couple of hours. There was no point in waking you. We aparated to the place we planned, Dumbledore was there about two seconds afterwards, then he aparated us here. I was going to wake you sooner, but – " He shrugged again, the happy grin fading. Remus knew why he hadn't woken him sooner.

"Sirius –" He began.

"No Remus. I don't want to talk about it. All that needs to be said has been." Sirius' voice seemed to devoid of emotion. At least when he was angry Remus could react to that, but the sheer loss of hope in the usually strong voice made Remus' heart ache.

"Please Sirius, you have to understand –" He stopped as Sirius finally met his eyes.

"I do Moony. I understand completely."

Remus wanted to tell him that he loved him, that he wanted to be with him and that it didn't really matter if anyone else knew, but the set look in Sirius' eyes stopped him. He swallowed deeply.

"Um – " Remus swallowed again. "How about a drink to celebrate?" Remus saw the sadness in Sirius' eyes at the change of subject even as his mouth curled into a smile. With that small sentence Remus knew he had told Sirius that he could not give him what he needed.

The ghost smile on Sirius' face grew slightly. "Oh God yes. I _really_ need a drink." Remus grinned back, slowly at first. This was ok. Maybe they would be fine being just friends. Friends could go out together and have a drink. They could celebrate a job well done and a trap carefully avoided. He tried to ignore the pain in his heart.

*

"Well." Remus said.

"Yes." Sirius agreed with him. "Well."

Remus leaned out of the two-man booth to look behind him at the view Sirius had. "Well."

Sirius nodded. They looked up at each other, both breaking into identical grins at the same time. "Muggles certainly know how to live really don't they." Sirius had paused to look around again. "It should have been obvious from the name really."

Remus snorted. They had wandered down a few streets, wondering where to have a drink, finally picking a place tucked away that seemed pretty empty. It had red leather covered seats, some of which were set out as booths for just couples, as opposed to the usual sized ones that held four. There was a dance floor up at one end. They had had a few drinks before others started to fill the place up and now there were quite a few drinking and dancing. All men.

"'The Queen's Court.' All makes sense now." Sirius snorted. "We have great taste in muggle clubs Sirius. We really do." Sirius laughed. Suddenly a look of sheer joy passed over his face and he fell about in hyserics. Remus looked over his own shoulder, but saw nothing that should have warranted such an outburst.

"What?" Sirius looked up and him and laughed even harder. "What!?"

Sirius seemed to be trying to get his mirth back under control. "You – "he began, bursts of laughter interrupting " – you hate the idea that anyone might suspect you of having feelings for a man – what they might think of you – and then here you are! In a gay club!" Sirius curled up slightly, gripping his stomach and laughing. Remus scowled. He had not thought about it. Everyone here must be looking at him and thinking he was gay. His frown lightened. But they were all gay, so it didn't matter. He picked up his pint and finished it off, electing to ignore Sirius until he had regained some composure. The darker man breathed deeply to stop laughing before picking up his own empty glass and standing.

"We need more drinks. Be right back." Remus watched Sirius walk over the bar, admiring how his behind looked in his black jeans. Friends. Yes, this was going to work. He sat back and watched Sirius waiting for the barman and chatting idly with the blond man standing next to him. He was clearly flirting with Sirius, who seemed to be responding. Remus allowed himself an indulgent smile. It didn't matter. Sirius was here with him.

The blond man glanced over at Remus, no doubt asking something about him. Sirius glanced at him over his should and then smiled at the man, shaking his head and saying something. The blond man smiled more and moved in a little closer. Remus felt a pang of jealousy. The man must have just asked if Sirius was with Remus, and Sirius had told him that they were not a couple. Which was true, but he could not stop the desire to grab Sirius and tell the blond to keep away. But if they were just friends then Sirius could do whatever he wanted. He didn't even have to come back to the flat tonight. And he didn't have to come back to Remus' house the next day. Remus stomach flipped. He had not realised how much his heart had wanted Sirius living with him. He had felt marginally ok with the idea of friends as long as it still meant that Sirius would be with him, in his house, in his life. But if the dark-haired man chose to go off and finds someone else, there was nothing he could do.

Remus' mind was reeling. Was he really going to let Sirius run off with this blond man because he didn't want a few homophobic idiots thinking he was gay?

"Remus? Do you want the drink?" Remus looked up into Sirius' eyes. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed Sirius return with the drinks. Remus glanced over and saw that the blond man was looking over, no doubt having watched Sirius walk just as he had a few moments before. The jealousy flared. Sirius was _his_. No one else had the right to even look at him.

Remus breathed deeply. He knew the jealousy was just masking further feelings. He knew he wanted to be with Sirius more than anything. More than he cared about what others thought, that was for sure.

Remus looked up at Sirius who had been watching him think as a song started to play. This was his chance. His chance to show Sirius that he _was_ able to be what he needed. He was able to put his feelings for this man ahead of his petty fear about what others might say. Plus this way he might actually get laid tonight.

The intro to the song was slow and long, Remus had plenty of time to get Sirius to the dance floor where other men were wrapping their arms round each other. Sirius had said nothing. Remus suspected he was waiting to see what this gesture was meant to prove.

As Remus wrapped his arms around the other man the hauntingly beautiful words began to pour out of the speakers.

"_So close, no matter how far,_

Couldn't be much more from the heart,

Forever trusting who we are,

And nothing else matters...

Remus had never heard much Muggle music, but this song made him shiver. It made him think of Sirius, of himself.

...Never opened myself this way, __

Life is ours; we live it our way,

All these words I don't just say,

And nothing else matters...

Remus felt his heart leap. Had someone crawled inside his mind and read his heart they could not have produced a song with music and words so in tune with his feelings. This was how he felt. Sirius knew who and what he was, yet still accepted and loved him. Who cared if anyone could not accept them just because of baseless bigotry? The words were right. Nothing else mattered.

__

...Trust I seek, and I find in you,

Everyday for us something new,

Open mind for a different view,

And nothing else matters...

Remus pulled Sirius closer to him. The other man seemed to be gradually softening. Could he sense the emotional revelation the music was eliciting in Remus' chest? He wanted to sing this song to Sirius, to let him know that the words were spoken from his heart and soul. Open mind. That was what he had been lacking, but no more. He loved Sirius. Why could that ever be wrong?

__

...Never cared for what they do,

Never cared for what they know,

But I know...

Remus looked into Sirius' eyes. He wanted to tell it all to his lover, his friend, the only person he had ever really loved. He wanted to beg forgiveness and live forever making it up to him, but he could see the understanding in the black eyes. Sirius knew. Their eyes stayed locked.

__

...So close, no matter how far,

Couldn't be much more from the heart,

Forever trusting who we are,

And nothing else matters...

Remus closed his eyes and kissed Sirius gently on the lips. It was a kiss of pure emotion and love. Sirius responded, pulling Remus tight to him. Remus moved his lips round to Sirius' ear. "I love you Sirius. I love you too much sometimes, I think." Sirius' grip became almost painful.

"No Moony. Never too much." He whispered back as the music continued, lyrics moving almost through the two men. There was no one else, the rest of the club had disappeared and was forgotten.

"Forgive me? I've been an idiot." Remus knew he didn't have to ask, but wanted to anyway. He wanted Sirius to know what he meant.

Sirius laughed slightly, a laugh of relief and complete happiness. "God Remus! Always! I love you so much I think my heart will break from the strain." The two men pressed their heads together again and kissed. The song ended and died away, but still the two men swayed to it and their own tune.


End file.
